We have been married 3 years, 7 months, and...3 days as of today. And in those 3 years we have grown together; as a couple,as a family,and as individuals. I believe that a big part of this ever changing,growing,learning process has a lot to do with where we move and end up for however short a period of time.
We do not seem to stay in one city, or one apartment for very long. In these 3 years we have lived in 2 different cities and 3 different "homes" (we don't own a house, but where we are is our HOME) of various size and circumstance. And now we are moving yet again, to a different city, a different home, a different life entirely. And every time we move,no matter if its to a town I have never been to before or the town I grew up in, I am excited because I thrive on change in a big way ( I am always wanting to move furniture around,re-decorate,re-do my whole wardrode...etc etc) I love love love new things.And yet no matter how excited I am, there's that part of me, a part that's still that insecure 14 year old girl with braces and crazy hair,that is completely terrified to start all over once again.
I wonder how will we fit everything we own into a truck and just drive away from the last two years of the life we have had here? Physically, logically, I realize that it is entirely possible to fit our possessions into a truck, we have done it many times before. But the part of me that does not entirely live in reality thinks otherwise.
But it is what we are supposed to do. I know it. Everything is magically,miraculously working out(except leaving a large amount of cash on the table for the moving truck and losing it) everything is just falling into place. The where is done. The apartment is done. The job...is still a bit of a mystery honestly,but I have faith the right one will be found. Our son is confused, our once usually clean home is filled with boxes and crib parts and scattered things from our life. We keep telling him we are moving and the place we are going to has a splash park! and lots of fun things, so he keeps saying "i go,i wan spash part a betty one" But I worry that as we drive far away from the only home he's ever known, that he will panic. That he will ask over and over "wheres my gram?? i wan see my gram!" and it breaks my heart. But it is what we are supposed to do, so even if his young, sweet, little mind does not understand I will have to help him be happy in a new, different home. And help myself be happy as well. Chances are pretty good that when we get there and there is an overwhelming amount of boxes to unpack I will cry and possibly lapse into a wave of depression. But, I am also me,and these last 3 years have only made me more ME. So I will slowly,steadily unpack our lives into a new home, and make it actually be HOME.
It will be good. Difficult. But good. There is always good.
Yay! So excited to read about your new adventures on your new blog! Good luck in your move!
ReplyDeleteWe'll always be here to help! We cannot WAIT for you to get here!
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